Saturday, 17 July 2010

More overrated shit

4. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Guy Richie is a joke as far as I'm concerned, a spoilt rich kid born with a silver spoon up his arse decided one day he was going to make a film about 'ruffians up to no good'. Well, Scorsese did it, didn't he? No, Guy, Martin actually grew up on those mean streets, and that's why he was able to give us a more accurate portrait of how life was growing up around those 'ruffians'.

Add Vinnie Jones, who acts as well as he used to play football, some of the worse dialogue presented in a film ever... what do you get? Fucking morons who come out quoting the dialogue from the film, a short lived TV series and Guy Richie gets the license to unleash even more of his Eartha Kitt on the screen.

Sunday, 11 July 2010


I'm a passionaite man. Too passionaite at times. I form an opinion and I stick with it, quite often I make my mind up about people in a matter of minutes. In terms of the interview process, with me its a one shot deal. I either like you... or I cannot stand you. No real middle ground. With this in mind, I decided to write a blog. I hope you either love it, or hate it. Please no middle ground here. I'm starting here with my top ten most overrated movies of all time. These flicks tend to be universally loved, but I cant love them, I tried but I failed.

1. Lord Of The Rings - The Fellowship Of The Rings (2001)
Overlong, in fact its one of the few films I've sat through that has actually put me to sleep. Attempted to watch this three times, once sat in the seats of the (sadly demised) Odeon in North End, Portsmouth (where I became temporaraly unconcious). It does nothing for me, the fact that people would sit through an even longer cut does make me wonder if Jacksons next film will be 'Lord of The Rings - Warriors of the Drying Paint'

2. The Dark Knight (2008)
Christian Bale gives us a masterclass in how to look constipated. He's Batman? He's not the before bloke on the Senekot advert? Are you pulling my leg? Why so serious Christian? The real problem I have with this film (as you can probably tell) is it takes itself too seriously. I seriously doubt this would have been as successful had Heath Ledger not died just after wrapping this movie up. As for his performance, average at best, certainly not Oscar worthy (was it really a better performance than Phillip Seymour Hoffman's turn in Doubt?) Hollywood, please stop putting Maggie Gyllenhaal in movies, you've had your fun, now its not nice to stare. Finishing on a positive note, Harvey Dent (Aarron Eckhart) was actually a slight light in this abyss of darkness.

3. Titanic (1997)
I saw this opening night in the Cinema, James Cameron is a masterful director. That is without question, his films are so well made, paced and usually have a booming soundtrack. Then comes Titanic, the sinking of the ship is without question breathtaking on the big screen, but to get to that you have to put up with an awful love story. Cameron can do love stories quite well, The Abyss (1989) showed me that. Titanic however made me want to throw up in my empty popcorn bucket at about 2 hours in. Add a hopeless Celine Dion ballad into the mix and a trigger happy First Officer (it wouldnt be a Cameron film without some guns eh?) with a Bill Paxton cameo (at least you lived in this one Bill) and what do you get? 10 OSCARS!!! Thats what. King of the world at the Box Office (until Cameron decided to break that record with Avatar) Titanic is overlong, over cliched and kind of like meeting a beautiful woman, leaning in for a kiss and discovering she has bad breath.